It's that X-Men metaphor again

The ride with happy Ron and Mylene had this question popping out of Happy Ron's mouth-- Dex, do you hate yourself? And the only truthful answer I could come up with at the time was "Yes." When who you are is not what the world wants and you want so much to fit in, how can you not hate yourself?

Tatagalugin ko na ha?

'Pag nagmahal ka, nakakatakot ka. 'Pag nagiisip ka, nakakatakot ka. 'Pag nagsulat ka, ang nagbabasa ng sinulat mo ay--

• natatakot sa 'yo
  
• natatakot para sa 'yo
  
• panandaliang nasisiraan ng bait

Ang skillset mo, hindi ginagalang. Sarili mong kasama sa industriya walang bilib sa 'yo.

Pero magaling ka daw. Mabait ka daw. Hindi lang ikaw 'yung kailangan nila.

I can't change who I am and damning the rest of the world because it doesn't like or understand me isn't the solution I need. Though it's tempting, sometimes.

Which brings me to my point: at the time, in the Ron-mobile, with Happy Ron and Mylene, I'd truthfully said the answer was "yes." Having had the time to think on this now, I realize that the true answer is "No."

I don't truly hate myself. I know enough about myself to know my worth, my place, in spite of the niche my friends want me to occupy (which is some place that won't inconvenience them). On my good days I don't hate myself. I'm just more disappointed in most everyone else.